And Another Thing – Swimwear, Feminism and Body Issues

Last week, I paid horribly for the fact that I am going on holiday. Post tropical illness injection (needles, ew), I had to go bikini shopping* on Oxford Street. It. Was. Horrifying. I felt attacked by swarms and swarms of crappy, tacky, badly made beach attire without even one or two things in the middle that were acceptable. And the more everywhere was peddling the same crap the more I got annoyed. It wasn’t just that this season’s swimwear is not my style, it’s that they are in no way practical, functional, or fit for purpose. It got my inner feminist working overdrive, and not so much because of the horrible frills, trims and tack-central shapes and colours but rather because every bloody bikini and swimsuit is padded here or a bit tucked there. By the time I had reached Marble Arch I was properly enraged, with feminism steaming out of my ears.

Terrifying Frilly Swimwear From The Highstreet

WHAT is with the assumption that girls with small to medium boobs want giant knockers and therefore everything must be padded? Now ladies, if you’ve got a good rack, props. I ain’t hatin’, celebrate those boobies! My point is though, why can’t us ittybittytitty girls celebrate too? I am comfortable with the size of my chest. I don’t want it to be any bigger, especially as a result of a bikini or a bra that pushes (pun intended) the idea that I need big boobs to be womanly. No, I don’t.

It’s the same point I am always trying to make – that women are all different sizes and shapes and that so long as you are healthy you should be happy in yourself and society should leave you be the way you are. I don’t want a weird tummy tuck swimsuit. I don’t want my bikini to look like a wonderbra. Fair enough if you do, but it is a seriously depressing state of affairs when buyers won’t even entertain the notion that women are comfortable with themselves. Of all the masses of swimwear that I saw, there was maybe less than 1% that was just simple, unenhanced, the way nature intended. This was not an unconscious decision, the high street seems to have decided that women are not good enough as they are and therefore need all this padding. You know what, it might even be true, but it is not up to some buyer to decide that for me, so I shall be heading to sportsdirect.com and buying a Speedo. And, if I had loadsa cash, these.

Mara Hoffman SS12 from Asos

ASOS Digital Beach Scene Cut Out Bandeau swimsuit SS12

Wildfox swimsuit from Asos SS12

Emma Cook One Piece Digital Print Swimsuit from Asos SS12

Mara Hoffman Print One Piece Swimsuit SS12 Net-a-Porter

We Are Handsome Digital Print One Piece from Net-a-Porter SS12

Yves Saint Laurent One Piece Swimsuit from Net-a-Porter SS12

images via net-a-porter and asos.com

*Yes, yes I know…first world problems…

Fair Frocks

Last night, while attempting to get through some of the hundreds of “I’ll get to you later” mails, I came across a very worthy endeavour from Asos. A while back I did a little piece on Suno, and how they are bringing Fashion to the fore when it comes to ethical and sustainable clothing. Well, the Out of Africa collection from Asos reminds me more than a little bit of their high end counterpart, if not because they are both produced in Kenya, in workshops focusing on sustainability within the community and the environment. Using traditional African-looking prints and weaves, the online highstreet behemoth has created a line that is as fashionable as it is ethical. I really dig these printed trousers – the print reminds me of Suno’s collection.

As if the fact that these threads are bang on trend wasn’t enough to get you interested, to ease your consumption guilt a little bit – Asos are pledging to donate £5 from each sale, and then matching each with another £5 to the workshop that produces that garments to assist with the ongoing  development of a sustainable and long term solution to the economic problems in the Kenyan community. Can’t say fairer than that!

Asos Africa

Asos Africa

Check the range HERE

Cozy up beside me

Autumn is here, much to my dismay. I am cheering myself up by pondering winter coats. Those that know me will know that I have a teeeeensie coat obsession…to the tune of twenty-odd of the things. Still though, I think I can justify perhaps a fresh one this season. Well, you know, fresh city, it just seems fair!

Giles AW11

Chloe AW11

Giles and Chloe rocking Gestapo chic, DELISH

So this is what I have been thinking….I am in the mood for something functional yet stylish, something that screams – I AM A DESIGNER, living in LONDON. haha. Seriously though, I’m only half joking. I want an oversize, anti-fashion, functional thing. I really like when garments go beyond fashion to become pure design, the beauty is in the simplicity, the lack of superfluous embellishment. A pocket where you need a pocket, just the right amount of warmth, a neutral colour that works with everything, the works.  As much as it is boringly on trend, I am really crushing on Barbour at the moment, if just from a quality perspective. The high street is flooded with imitators, but only the original is as warm as it is stylish….I just can’t decide which one I want more!

 

Barbour Beadnell

Barbour xLiberty Beadnell

Barbour National Trials

 

 

Living in Dublin, London, anywhwere similar,  means that for basically half the year, the most important garment you have is your coat. Because you need to wear one almost all the time. The most well thought out outfits have come undone by forgetting to incorporate the coat. And given that I am the whatever-is-closest-and-cleanest kind of dresser, getting a coat that says the right thing without having to figure out in-depth outfit plans is a major bonus.

 

Simone Rocha AW11

Celine AW11

 

Antonio Berardi AW11

Philip Lim AW11

Alexander Wang AW11

Contrasting textures & colours for added interest

I have been on the hunt for the perfect parka for roughly two years now. I have had terrible luck, because I didn’t want to pay loads of money, because in my head a parka is a casual thing, and casual things should be cheeep. But the high street ones are useless quality, flimsy and just not even worth the more reasonable price tags. Furthermore, the shape needs to be just right, long enough but not too long, utilitarian, just the right amount of oversize and straight.

Turns out I have been a FOOL, because I have found a bucketload of them on the interweb from army surplus style sites. Why I didn’t head straight there is beyond me, but now all I have to do is decide which of these babies is just right.

Aquascutum AW11

Dress Monster via Asos

Won Hundred

Swedish Military Parka

Or maybe a Duffel Coat? Maybe?

Burberry AW11

Christopher Raeburn via Brownsfashion.com

Barbour

 

I LOVE this colour!

Celine AW11

and the highstreet version…

Topshop

 

And finally, it’s not practical, nor affordable, but if someone wants to buy me this, I’ll love you forever…

Alexander Wang AW11

 

Day 5 – Dilemma

I have a confession to make. I don’t really own any jeans. Which is odd, because I own plenty of denim. And multiples of most things. But really, I have 2 pairs of jeans that I wear with any sort of frequency. Which should make day 5′s challenge of “favourite pair of jeans” really easy. But instead, it has just made me aware of the fact that I don’t have a decent pair of jeans…

My first pair of jeans are an old battered pair of skinny’s that I got in Urban Outfitters years ago on sale. They have long since been relegated to when-everything-else-is-in-the-wash wear, and more recently, even further down the pecking order to print-day wear (read: ink & pigment stains all over them). Yes they are comfortable. No they are not favourites. NEXT…..

My second pair of jeans are my MOM jeans. I got them in a charity shop in Dalston for £2.50. Not bad for a pretty pristine pair of Paul Smiths. So far so good. They are really baggy, which I like. But I feel like I’m not really skinny enough to pull that whole super-baggy-mom/boyfriend-jeans thing off. In my head I’m going for that easy chic, masculine tailoring with a twist thing, but really I just look like a messy mess with wonky jeans. So I don’t really wear them out that much. Thus they are not my favourite either?

So, I guess it’s time I got a new pair of jeans? I have a voucher for Forever 21 so there are a few on the website I might indulge in…..And then of course, there’s Acne (droooooooool)…….Someone buy me some Acne, please?

Acne Jeans, nom nom nom

 

Slightly drop crotch Acne Jeans. I wish these would look good on me....

 

This is what I think I look like when I wear my mom Jeans. I don't.

 

I might buy these lil Forever 21 numbers?

 

Or maybe these? Again, Forever 21....

images via acnestudios.com, asos.com and forever21.com

Also, I would just like to point out how truly PAINFUL jeans shopping is!! Once you find the right pair it’s like meeting your soulmate, but man, what an ordeal. I recently made the mistake of half-looking for a new pair, and it properly ruined my weekend. Trying on a pair of jeans for the hell of it is a surefire way to make yourself feel truly crappy. Big calves and skinny jeans = tears. Bums and jeans = tears. Thighs and jeans = bucketloads of tears. Try on a baggy pair to cover the above up, look like a whale. Try find the right pair of skinny’s, minefield. No wonder I don’t have any jeans! Maybe I should hold off on the next reconnaissance mission until I’ve eaten a few more salads….

get me to the shops on time…

So, a whole bunch of my friends have decided that they are going to get married. Which is great and happy and lovely and blah blah blah. Except for the fact that now I’ve to find something to wear. Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that wedding-wear is the kind of thing that sets me into cold sweats. Karen Millen. Oasis… Coast….Pashmina.Shawls. That putrid cyan blue taffeta……..Ok I’ll stop, I’m only upsetting myself. Anyway. Weddings are a formal occasion because they are special, and while I am totes like FASHUN and stuff, I fully embrace the tradition and I’m not going to turn up in black mesh and a topknot (which reminds me, I still need to post my NYE look…). But you can stick it if you think I’m going to wear a dress from Coast. Even the thought makes me throw up a little. I want to look like ME. Only me that’s wedding appropriate, although it remains to be seen if such a thing exists.

So…..what the FOOOOK am I going to wear? Oh and did I mention that the first wedding is going to be ULTRA glam, so I HAVE to look great?? Bollox. However, I just had a little peek at Asos’s SS11 Lookbook and I spied not one but TWO looks that have potential.

source: Refinery 29.

The first one is pretty standard Jane aesthetic, I can pretty much see the outfit already. And it’s lilac, which is a traditional wedding colour, so it fits right in. So unless it turns out it’s made of some awful fabric, or that it’s just plain on the back (as happened with a friend’s new sequin-mesh…sneaky jersey back number before christmas), I’l probably get that. However, I just love the second look. It’s so fresh, and pretty and just like, wedding appropriate, but without being a bog standard wedding outfit. And it would be lots of fun for the summer.

So, I don’t know. I’l probably buy one of those, but then maybe I’ll find something better. In the mean time I need to lay off the Cadbury’s Roses. The stress. And that’s just the guests, ha!